Aioli, Fast and Simple

Someone once told me that “if it’s hard to pronounce, it’s probably hard to make.”

Obviously, “hard to pronounce” is subjective… I grew up in an Acadian strong-hold, so I can pronounce French stuff relatively easily. Still, that doesn’t make pâté en croûte any easier to make!

So, aioli… it’s got an awesome “word pegigree.” In Latin, it would be allium oleum, which just rolls off the tongue! The phrase, I mean… hopefully you don’t let aioli actually roll off your tongue, and certainly not at the table with guests.

Anyway, allium oleum is literally “garlic oil” (we might call it “garlic mayonnaise”) and that is, basically, all there is to know about aioli. Except how to pronounce it… and that is Eye-Oh-Lee.  And maybe how to make it… because some folks will have you jumping through hoops trying to make this stuff, but it really is very, very simple.

Ingredients
3 eggs yolks
3 cloves garlic, whole
Lemon juice from 1/2 lemon (about 1 T)
Salt
Extra-virgin olive oil

Preparation
Sure, I said “3 egg yolks” and “3 cloves garlic” but you can use however much… the trick to remember is “one clove of garlic for every egg yolk.” Then, just bump up the salt, lemon, and oil as needed. The only real prep is to peel the garlic and separate the yolks.

Execution
Start your timer, because you’ll be amazed how fast it is to make this most excellent garlic mayo!

Add the egg yolks, garlic, big pinch of salt, and lemon juice to a food processor. Close it up nice and tight (sometimes I will put Crisco on the seal when I’m making aioli, because it leaks out of my old, beaten up food processor otherwise).

Start up the food processor on a low setting, and slowly and continuously drizzle the olive oil in through the top. Over the course of about 30 seconds, the mixture will turn from being a runny liquid to being mayo – in technical terms, it has emulsified. “Emulsify” is a fancy sounding word that means we’ve forced two liquids that didn’t want to mix, to mix.

Don’t stop at 30 seconds just because 30 seconds have elapsed… you need to keep adding oil until the whole thing spontaneously turns from liquid-y mess to mayo-y goodness.

In our case, the emulsification is between the water of the egg yolk and the oil, and the egg fats, garlic, etc., get carried along for the ride. The nice thing about the egg yolks is they also provide lecithin, which is an emulsifier… oh, the wonders of circular reasoning! It just makes our mixture of water and oil thicker, and voila, we have mayo!

What does your timer say? Last time I actually timed myself (no pun intended), I got 5 minutes, 45 seconds from the moment I thought, “gee I really want something to put on my sandwich” to spreading this super stuff onto a lightly toasted Kaiser roll.

The proportions listed above make about 1 cup of aioli, which will keep about a week in the frigidaire. Although, to be honest, I’ve never tested that, because it’s too yummy to last more than a couple days!

One last sort of warning… I like garlic, and 1 clove per egg yolk makes a very garlicky mayo, indeed! Feel free to adjust.

Amazing Grace

My Dad’s family is ginormous. Really, he’s one of like 13 siblings! Recently, his brother, my uncle, Len died.

Although lots of my Dad’s siblings had moved to various other parts of the country, my Uncle Len chose to remain in northern Maine (up until the last few years, anyway). As such, I got to know him growing up. He was quiet, but funny. He never had kids, but he clearly cared about his nephews (my brothers and I are the only ones I am qualified to talk about). I would work summer jobs of carpentry with him and my Dad. We cut, split, and stacked our share of wood together for my grandmother, his mom, Marie.

He was as active as his injuries would allow him to be. He was a US Marine in Vietnam. When I was deciding where to enlist, his quiet dignity and pride in his time of service helped convince me to also become a Marine.

So, he was my uncle, but also my brother… a brother in service to our nation, a brother in the Marine Corps.

He died down in Tennessee, but was eventually brought up to northern Maine to be buried near his own parents. I drove up for the service, and was able to perform some music during the Mass (everyone is Catholic in northern Maine, just about). A Marine Corps color guard had driven up from Boston to give him his military honors and present the US Flag to my eldest surviving aunt and uncle, and my Dad.

In the days preceding the service, I put together this arrangement of Amazing Grace. I mean, it’s a great song, but it’s also done at military funerals, so it all just seemed to fit. I like bagpipe versions of the song, so I added a “drone” in the first few chords: I keep on the low-G string through the C, C7, Fadd9, and back to C. (The chart is on the Ukulele Page).

No one knew that I was trying to mimic a bagpipe with my ukulele… that wasn’t the point. It was just a little something extra, a little something special for my uncle… just a little something to say “thank you” and “goodbye” and “I love you” and “Semper Fi” all at the same time. Because he deserved it.


Kansas City… city of fountains… of BBQ sauce!

So I was making a pulled-pork for some excellent visitors we were having at the office. These folks, although work colleagues, were actually visiting us while on vacation! Their office is out in Colorado, and our office is here in Maine (the corporate office is in Nashville), and they were on vacation to New England – decided to drop in for a spell.

Now, these folks work in Colorado, but used to live in Texas. They know their BBQ, and there were a number of “gauntlets” thrown about how New Englanders use Hamburger Helper and call it “bar-b-que.” Ha! :)

I decided to go with pulled-pork – it has universal appeal, and the pork here is of higher quality than the beef, and they get plenty of beef out west. Okay pulled-pork. I’ve done that a bunch, felt good, felt peppy. But I always try to do something new or different with each cook, and this time I decided to sauce the pork at serving time, which meant I needed a killer sauce!

After searching the Intertubes, and doing a few test batches, I found what I was looking for… a KC-style sauce with multiple dimensions of heat, a diversity of sweet, and a thick, glossy, scrumptious texture.

I actually had to make two batches of the final sauce, because once I started testing… I couldn’t stop eating it! I just sat there and ate three full cups of sauce… and I tell you, in a less forgiving culture I would have been arrested for sexual harassment for what I did to that pan of sauce!

Ingredients
3 T olive oil
1 small sweet onion
4 cloves garlic, roughly minced
———————
2 c good ketchup
1/2 c yellow mustard
1/2 c cider vinegar
1/4 c teriyaki or soy sauce
1/4 c lemon juice (about two lemons)
1/3 c dark molasses
1/4 c local honey
1 t hot sauce (your favorite)
shot of bourbon
———————
2 T chili powder (bonus for chipotle powder)
1 t pepper
1 t kosher salt
1 c brown sugar

Preparation
Get a pot hot, add the oil, cut up the onions and garlic. Add the onions to the hot oil, cook for 2-3 minutes. Add the garlic, cook for 30 seconds.

Execution
Once the garlic has gotten fragrant, add dry ingredients except for the brown sugar. Let the hot oil extract some of the goodness from the dry stuff… maybe a minute or two. Then add the wet ingredients. Stir it all up, and bring to a boil. Add brown sugar, and return to boil. Then, reduce heat, and let it simmer, uncovered, for about 15 minutes. The goal is to reduce the liquid and thicken up the sauce, but not too much.

Makes 3-4 cups, depending on the degree of reduction.

This sauce is thick and smooth. You get an immediate punch of heat, but it dies away and the various sweets start to take over. Following all that is a bit of trailing heat. Damn… I used it to sauce the pulled-pork, and on the side for anyone who wanted more. Would also be brilliant on ribs, or, as I discovered, eaten all by itself!

[Thanks to Allison Everett for the use of a special phrase.]

Breakfast-Zilla

chickenYes, well… the chicken would like to say hello.

Broody: “Hello there. I am a Barred Rock chicken. I’m 13″ tall, weigh about 8 pounds. I like to scratch around in the yard for nibbly dibblies. Oh, I also like to poop on stuff. And lay eggs. For some reason, my humans only like my eggs. They fail to be fascinated with my poop. I guess I’ll just have to keep pooping on their stuff until they see how awesome it is!”

Right. Thanks, Broody.

Anyway, Broody lives on our homestead, along with six other chickens. Apart from all the poop, they are actually very good egg layers. We get maybe four or five eggs a day. And really, they are the best eggs! Yolks rich, creamy, deeply colored… Well, you’ll see.

I decided to make a yummy breakfast, so looked around at what was on hand. Focaccia bread… Some left-over Gruyere cheese… Of course, fresh eggs. Butter. The rest, as they say, wrote itself.

Ingredients
2 slices Focaccia bread (mine was herbed with rosemary)
4 T butter
Enough Gruyere to cover bread
4 fresh eggs
Salt, pepper, hot sauce (optional)

Preparation
Slice up the bread, get the butter ready to go, cut into 1 T segments, and slice up the Gruyere.

Execution
Get the pan evenly hot, over medium heat. Add 1 T of the butter. Once melted, swirl it around, then add the bread slices. Swish those around to soak up all the butter, and fry until golden. Remove the bread, add another 1 T of butter, and return the bread to fry the other side. Add sliced Gruyere to the top of the bread while frying the second side. Once done, remove and set aside on a plate.

Add the remaining 2 T of butter, let it melt and just start to brown. Add the eggs. If you want to be tricky, crack the eggs ahead of time into two cups. Then, with a cup in each hand, you can add all four eggs at once. Once the whites start to set, sprinkle with sale and pepper. Cover the pan, and lower the heat. Continue cooking until the sunny yolk starts to get white forming along its perimeter. Basically, you want all the whites done, but the yolk runny.

Remove the eggs and place two eggs on each slice of toast. Add a few dashes of hot sauce, if using.

eggs01

The combination of the creamy yolk, the crispy Focaccia, the velvety cheese… Oh, my! I’ve done this basic thing with lots of kinds of bread, but it wasn’t until I tried it with Focaccia that I wanted to write about it!

eggs02You’ll notice only one assemblage in the photos… that’s because once I tried the first bite I knew two things: 1) I would have to finish that first piece right there, right then, and 2) I needed a photo record of the remaining piece so I could share it! Cheers!

 

Semper Fight

Although it was the very first song I learned to play on the ukulele (in 2011), I only recorded The Marines’ Hymn this last summer (on Memorial Day, 2013), and have delayed posting it until now. It’s not for lack of pride in my time in the Corps… it is that a former student of mine, inspired to enlist as a Marine partly from my encouragement, was KIA in Iraq. No, I don’t blame myself – many factors led him to service, and many factors led to his being killed. But he was my student – I saw the best and worst of him in math class, and on the football field, and I don’t want to dishonor his memory by botching up the job.

Where Dan really shined, though, was on the wrestling mat. It’s where he was meant to be – strong, nimble, smart – everything you want in a wrestler. Everything you want in a US Marine. Everything you want in a friend.

Cheers, Dan. Where ever you’re hanging out these days, save a spot for me at the bar.


I layered up the vocals as the verses go on, imagining walking along gathering more grunts who join in the singing. Also played around with a vocal filter to make the first verse sound “far away” -ish, but not sure if it worked as well as I thought it might.

These songs do sort of belong together…

My deepest musical influences are Bach, Beethoven, and The Ramones. But, along with other weird stuff in my head, is a fascination with Vangelis. Although almost everyone knows his music from Chariots of Fire, I first heard his electronic brand of awesome in the music of the Carl Sagan series Cosmos. I started collecting his work for the next decade or so.

One of my favorites was Opera Sauvage, which I think was actually written for some kind of animal documentary… but whenever I see cool natural events, this tune would play in my head: Hymne. Of course, Vangelis was all about synthesizers and whatnot, but I think my little arrangement for ukulele and melodica gives it a woodsy cabin sort of feel.


One of our fun pastimes out at our little homestead is to rewrite the lyrics for songs. We turn them into our own little version, generally poking fun at something we’ve done, or something one of the animals has done. I was watching some old video clips of The Muppet Show, and saw this awesome one where Rowlf and Fozzie sing the classic Country Gardens tune. It’s hilarious, and a piece of brilliant puppeteering! “Can you play hatless?” “I don’t know, who wrote it?”

So I looked up the actual folk song, and found out it was a way to teach British children about flowers and insects and stuff. I thought, “well, we’ve got stuff around the homestead… we should write a song about them, too!” Everyone pitched in on figuring out the words, and it’s been a frequently played song around the house. We have four verses: one for the lack of flowers (my superpower is killing all useful plants, apparently), one for our three dogs, one for our three ponies, and a final one for the chickens. It’s a fun tune.


Both of these tunes are also available on the Ukulele Page, and although one started as a piece of synthesizer music, and the other as an English folk song, they both have connections to animals, and in my version Hymne sounds sort of like a country folk song… Well, who cares if the connection is tenuous at best… they’re simple, fun tunes! Cheers!

Saturday Scones

I have a new Saturday morning tradition: baking scones.

Okay, so maybe doing something just two weeks in a row doesn’t quite qualify as “tradition.” But, you’ve got to start somewhere, and two weeks in a row is actually pretty good for me.

a_recipeLet me add that I’m no baker. I love to cook, and I’ll cook the hell out of a steak or a casserole… but I’ve always burned the cookies and ruined the pie, so to speak. Thus, it was with great hesitation that I tried my hand at scones.

Fortunately, the inter-webs are a wonderful place. And although I very rarely use recipes in my cooking, I figured I should have a reference point from which to diverge in my scone adventures. I went web searching, and found three promising sources: Alton Brown, Allrecipes, and America’s Test Kitchen. I stole their scone recipes and merged them into something I though would work for me.

I also chatted up my pals at my favorite bakery to get some tips. Behold, the recipe I came up with:

I had also recently purchased some pretty sweet stainless steel mixing bowls, and learned to make a simple sugar glaze. If all this information and equipment can’t help me make a decent fracking scone, then nothing would!

Dry Ingredients – Getting a Crumb
I added all the dry ingredients to the bowl, and whisked them together. Then, I removed the butter from the freezer (yes, you should freeze the butter!) and grated it into the mixture. I just used a regular, large tooth cheese grater. Then, a few chops with the pastry blender later, and the mixture should have a nice “crumb” to it… meaning, it looks a little like oatmeal, has tiny and small chunks of butter, but is otherwise dry.

b_01_butter.png b_02_crumb.png

Wet Ingredients – Getting the Dough
Make a hollow in the dry ingredients. Then, whisk the sour cream and egg together. Add it into the hollow.

b_04_combine

At this point, I found the best way to combine everything was to begin stirring from the center, and slowly work outward. In math-speak, I let the radius of my circular stirring motion increase slowly with time. This keeps up a continual “feeding dry into wet” system that seems to work well.

Now, you sort of have to use some observational power. The dough was not holding together after a good mix, so I added one Tablespoon of milk. Stirred that up. Still not quite there. Added one more Tablespoon of milk. Stirred. Ah, there it went! The dough should NOT be anywhere near wet. When you reach in, you can grab a handful, squeeze, and it should come together, but not really stick to you.

b_05_ready

Folding the Dough
c_01_rectangleLay the dough out onto a floured surface, and using nothing but your fingers (I use the backs of my fingers, just because I like to), flatten it out into a rough rectangle. Flip it over and complete. Dust with flour as you need to. If anything sticks to the table, just toss on a little flour, rub it into a clump, and add it back to the dough.

Once you’ve gotten a nice shape to it (as above), you get to do “the trick” to light, flaky scones… Remember when we used to communicate with each other by writing letters? You’d have to fold your letter so that it fit in this thing called an envelope, and place something called a stamp onto it. You’d then leave the letter at the end of your driveway and some stranger would come along, pick it up, and take it to your friend for you! It was pretty slick.

Anyway, the point is that you want to fold up your dough like a letter, using a tri-fold, then flatten it again with your fingers into another rectangle. Do this three times.

c_02_fold1 c_03_fold2

Now we can add the fruit. In this case, I used some frozen blueberries. I had nothing fresh on hand (it is early April in Maine… the only fresh ingredient available to me is mud). Press out the dough a little larger than your earlier rectangle, being careful not to make it stick to the surface. Flip it at least once and dust with flour. Then, just press the berries into the dough.

c_04_berries

Finally, tri-fold what you have, and press it with your fingers out into a nice, flat, log shape. Cut into four even pieces, and diagonally cut each of those pieces in half to form little triangles. Why triangles? Because people like to eat pointy foods! We’re then ready to put the scones on a buttered baking sheet and pop them into a 400F oven for 15 minutes.

c_05_cut

The Glaze
While the scones are baking, I make the glaze. For this glaze, I used 2 Tablespoons of confectioners sugar, 1 teaspoon of raspberry syrup, and 2 teaspoons of milk.
d_01_syrup

Just whisk it all around with a fork or very small whisk. You want it to be the consistency of paste. If it’s too runny, add more sugar. If it’s too dry, add more milk (in very, very small amounts). You could use any kind of flavoring… I love this raspberry syrup, though! Other options would be regular maple syrup, vanilla, some orange or lemon zest… whatever you think will pair well with the fruit.

d_02_glazeBowl

One Last Thing
I love coffee. I love all kinds of coffee. Even camp coffee that tastes like burnt grounds and smoke. And although I love me some Starbucks Grande Vanilla Latte, I really still enjoy basic drip coffee from my favorite little machine. (To the side of the coffee maker is my Plan B: PG Tips tea!)

e_01_coffee

After 15 minutes, the scones are ready. I remove them onto a cooling rack, and glaze them right away. This recipe makes 8 scones, but I tell my daughter it only makes 6… so that by the time she’s awake to start her Saturday, we can split those “6″ scones “evenly” and have three each during the rest of our morning routines. (Please don’t tell her!)

f_01_scone f_02_glazed

Wayfaring Stranger

I first heard the tune A Wayfaring Stranger sung by Charlie Haden and his Quartet West on their album, The Art of the Song. Haunting. Excellent. I would never, ever, compare myself to this fantastic musician. But, when you enjoy a tune, you sing that tune! So, although you should seek out and listen to Mr. Haden’s version to see how it’s really done, that version did inspire an ukulele version which I recorded.

It’s available on the Ukulele page, or you can listen here.


Beer-Braised Steak & Egg Sandwich

Well, my wife and daughter were away visiting friends. It’s the weekend of my wife’s monthly visiting spree, and my daughter had recently gotten her driver’s license… so she was out spreading her wings.

BottomRoundSteakThis situation left me all by myself last Saturday evening, and I thought to myself, “Self, what in the world am I going to do with this Bottom Round I have?” Options swirled before my eyes… pot roast… beef stew… But I had done those. Then I realized that there was something I had never tried (for whatever insane reason). I had never cut bottom round steaks!

Well, situation solved. I cut a nice little 1/2 pound Bottom Round Steak out of that puppy, and got to planning the culinary event of the weekend.

Image from culinaryarts.about.com

Image from culinaryarts.about.com

Bottom Round is pretty lean, but it’s very tough. It’s part of the hip muscle, the big pink section in the image I stole from culinaryarts. Any “hard working” muscle (like the brisket, among others) can’t just be cooked up like a regular steak (e.g., rib eye, tenderloin, sirloin, etc.), it’s got to go low and slow.

This is the point I’d normally start referring to the Big Green Egg, but alas I do not have one at home (just at the office). So, I had to go with Plan B, and in this case the “B” stands for “Braising”!

Braising is super simple: sear the meat in oil quickly, then simmer the meat in liquid slowly. It’s the basic idea behind pot roast and stew, where you might use the crock pot as the “in liquid slowly” part of the equation. I just had a single, 1/2 pound steak, so I didn’t need all that. All I needed was some beer…

Ingredients
1/2 pound bottom round steak
1 T olive oil
3 cloves garlic, whole but smashed under hand
8 oz beer or ale, I like Sam Adams Noble Pils
2 thick slices of bread, I used garlic-asiago from my favorite bakery, The Bankery.
1 T butter
2 eggs
Salt & pepper
Spicy dry rub, I used Trilby’s Spicy Dry Rub that I had received as a Christmas present from my Seattle sister-in-law
1/4 ripe avocado, sliced
Mayo

Preparation
Let the beer come to room temperature. Get a nice big frying pan with a cover, get it hot, add the oil, and let that get hot. Then, season the steak (salt, pepper, rub) and sear until well browned on each side, adding garlic after you turn the steak over.

Execution
Add the beer all at once to the seared steak. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer, and cover. Let this simmer for 1 hour. After an hour, remove the steak. The garlic will be super soft. Go ahead and eat one of the cloves! Save the other two.

Add the two slices of bread to the juices in the pan, bring back to medium-high heat. Let the bread sit in the juices and fry. It will seem a little soggy at first, but don’t worry, it will recover as the liquid evaporates. Do this just on one side of the bread. The “fried side” will be the part we face to the inside of the sandwich, and the non-fried part will face out. That way, our hands don’t get too nasty and greasy. Not that it matters, but I just like the touch of fresh bread.

Remove the bread, then add butter for the eggs. Fry the eggs anyway you like, I prefer over-easy with a little more salt & pepper. Just keep the yolks runny. On one slice of bread (on the fried side), spread a little mayo. On the other slice (also fried side), spread the soft garlic you saved. If you couldn’t help yourself and ate all the garlic already, just use more mayo.

Finally, slice the steak and layer it on a slice of bread, followed by the eggs, a little more dry rub, and the avocado slices. Cut sandwich into two pieces… consume along with another beer.

Why cut it into two pieces? Because anticipation is important in food… As you finish the first half of the sandwich, you’ll be all “O Dear Lord That Was Good!” but then you’ll realize that YOU’VE STILL GOT ANOTHER ONE! Then you’ll eat that second half all slow and deliberate, with a purpose and a plan, and the enjoyment will be enhanced. You might say, “Dude, I taste what I taste… what’s the difference in timing?” Don’t succumb to the lazy ways of eating!! Savor it. Maybe even wait a few minutes before eating that second half… let that anticipation build.

You won’t be disappointed.

An original tune…

So, I had this sequence of chords I was messing around with on the ukulele… 2 bars of C, a bar of G7, and then two bars of A minor and F. It was just a little fun, and those basic chords are really nothing spectacular; they’re the basis of just about every tune ever.

But then I messed around some more, and started whistling a little melody. Before you know it, I had worked out an actual tune. I wanted some lyrics, so I turned to my wife and asked, “Okay, what should this song be about?” She listened to the tune and whistled melody… and said, “Something happy. Either goats running around on rocks, or you taking a motorcycle ride.”

FrankWell, not all my goat memories are fond, so I went with the motorcycle idea. I have a KLR 650, named Frank (for Frankenstein, since he’s had so many new parts added to him over the years!). Frank is an Enduro, meaning I can ride trails or roads. I mostly use Frank to commute to work, but I argue that even the worst motorcycle ride is better than any ride in a car.

I’ve ridden bikes since I was a kid on a JC Penny 5hp mini-bike. I love them. They are freeing. I’m also a Sci-Fi geek, so I figured I’d combine those two passions in this fun little tune. It’s on the Ukulele page, or you can listen to it here.


The chart (chords, lyrics, strumming patterns) is also available.

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